Timesheet

•

Each day I signed out
was one more day
of solidity,
one more day they did not
fire me,

one more day
it was a little harder
for them to fire me,
another day of seniority

and sick leave, it was all
so satisfying
as I marched out
the door.

But what was I thinking,
this was a Hollywood movie
based on a book
by someone else,

this was the cavalcade
of my life passing by,
suddenly I would stop
and catch myself,

my joys and fears,
my friendships and enemies,
my struggles,
my triumphs,

passing through the waist
of the hourglass,
energy withdrawing from me
like the stars.

It was one day closer
to my dreaded death,
one day closer
to my longed-for retirement,

one day closer
to never again
seeing the friends
I had made,

Bobby,
BJ,
Tanya,
Fred,

although when they did not astonish,
they drove me out of my mind,

seniority,
sick leave,

what the hell was I
thinking,

could they shield me
from the emptiness,

tick tock
goes the time clock,
when the energy goes
it is gone,

outside
the leaves of the maple tree
were vermillion
in late autumn sunlight,

birds sang,
people bopped,

the cocker spaniel
walked,
its brief moment
in time,

and then
there was me,
making my
mark,

going to work
each morning,
coming home
each night,

I would suddenly stop
and catch myself,

before signing
on the magic line,
before marching
out the opened door,

this day would never come again,
tomorrow was a perfect
storm cloud
on the rolling horizon,

what the hell
was I thinking

I didn’t know whether
to laugh or cry,

life,
death,
that delicate
relationship,

oh,signing
that time sheet
was so
bittersweet