Aid

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"Aid groups in global hot spots regularly badmouth each other, because of competition for donors."
             Dirk Kurbjuweit, Der Spiegel

We've come to help you, give you medicine, food.
Those other aid groups? Hearts and brains of wood.

We promise shelters and we get them built.
Oxfam's most expert at wallowing in guilt.

If you really want to return home, trust us.
Otherwise, get stuck here with the Red Cross,

who'll keep you in sight to swell their headcount.
UNICEF? Big and awkward. An elephant.

AmeriCares? CARE? Who are they trying to kid
with such names? A pail of waste with a fancy lid

is a pail of waste. Better named is Doctors Without
Borders. They never commit, those gadabouts.

While we hope peace puts us out of business,
Project Hope hopes for a bigger donor base.

Know this: your welfare's our one reason for being.
Christian Aid can barely accomplish peeing.

Now, as you squat in the dirt, free from harm
and ready to eat, you need to fill out this form.