The Day Überman Changed Sides

•

It was on the corner of Constitution and Liberty,
under a giant American flag rippling in the wind.
Cameras caught the pose: proud fists on hips,
invincible chest, sexy abs like a surfer or Jesus,
Aryan farm boy good looks and a hero's jaw squared,
and all poured into a skin-tight, color coordinated
costume. And the cape—what a package! Marketeers
smiled. He could sell anything from soap to war.

Maybe so many muscles made it hard to think…
Politicians and the rich patting his back, Hollywood
calling, actresses and models blowing him kisses—
it could go to any man of steel's head. Still, doubt,
carried on dissenting whispers, began to penetrate
that thick Boy Scout skull even when bullets
and brick walls couldn't. In his Citadel of Isolation,

Überman mulled on those cartoon years swooping
out of the red, white and blue to nab rough thugs
in alleys. Once, it was all in a good day's work
to foil a heist by hooligans or catch hoodlums
jimmying a lock. Ruffians, mobsters, criminals:
symptoms, not the disease … The real thieves—

eureka!—used the paper gun of the law to mug
nations in broad daylight. And if justice choked
on fine print and defiantly fought for illegal breath
then public gangsters whistled for their rent-a-cops,
the police and armies. The real Mafia had titles like:
Secretary of State, Chairman of the Board, Reverend
and General. The real villains had razor blade smiles
and saluted with hatchet hands conspiracies of monsters
who imitated men. When they said the word God
it had blood and beatings in it. The word Freedom
rattled out like chains, like death, mean and small.
Überman put his chin in his hand and did the math.

Anyway, back to the flag—which kept getting bigger,
and bigger. And bigger. Überman cocked his head
over his shoulder at it…and then he got this funny
look in his eye…just before he squinted a little
and the flag burst into flames.

All those castle and cathedral-polishers stood there
with their mouths open and cameras rolling. "Starting
today," said Überman, "there'll be some changes made.
Let's level the playing field and let the People of the earth
decide what they want." After that, things were never

the same. If there was a strike, Überman walked
the picket line with the strikers, and that made the police
very angry. Mayors declared they'd never trusted
a vigilante like him. Pudgy fists of ministers pounded
nails of holy hokum into pulpits. The Media probed
and dug for dirt. Überman went from Man of the Year
to Terrorist. Hollywood stopped calling. Überman

became Ünterman. "You want Truth? You want Justice?
Then let's open the doors to those back rooms where
decisions are made and let the People measure the distance
between the words their leaders speak and the deeds
their leaders do." The world found out the hidden
prison locations, what really goes on in Area 51, and who
killed the Kennedys. No secret file was buried
deep enough for denial. No military or corporate whisper
went unamplified. He exposed polluters, freed

political prisoners, dug wells for peasants, protected
organizers from death squads. The Wealthy went
from fury to fear. They tried bribes, threats, sex
scandals, kryptonite—he revealed their plots
at every turn. Hysterical, they stood naked to history,
shivering and clothed only in a thin cruelty of lies.
The poor lifted up their heads to watch a hero
who couldn't be bought or assassinated, and children
in barrios around the world donned capes in play.

President Cash ordered General Gas to prepare
the invasion of an oil-rich country on the pretext
that it posed a grave danger to American security.
But when the tanks rolled into the desert, there
on a dune was Ünterman, shaking his finger at them.
He plucked the jets from the sky and bent
the missiles in their silos. He gathered up nukes,
chemical and biological weapons across the world
and flung them into the sun. "Get new jobs,"
he said to the CEOs, Priests and Generals,
"Sell Compassion and Humanity at below cost.
Preach Love. Wage Peace. "

"After all," said Ünterman, "it's the American Way."